Kids are starting to go back to school across the country, and it’s sparking anxiety for kids and parents. Here are some key tips for how families can ease back-to-school anxiety this year.
How parents can help kids cope with back-to school anxiety:
Routines make kids feel safe. Create a morning routine and consider using a chart as a visual aid. This can help kids know what to expect on a daily basis and be sure to include steps for hygiene, nutrition, movement, and preparation (packing a backpack or lunch).
Get an early start. Practice a week or so before school begins (if possible) and allow for enough time in the mornings to allow your children to wake up and feel oriented. Early morning time is best for wiring the brain with affirmations and it sets the tone for the rest of the day.
Designate space for homework. This creates a separate space for children to work and ensures they have supplies needed to complete assignments. Having a physical space with boundaries helps them focus and limits distractions
Invite them into the process of planning for their return to school. Give them a sense of control over things like choosing clothing, supplies, chores, etc.
Managing peer relationships:
Open communication is important so our children feel safe in sharing with parents/caretakers what is happening within peer relationships. Sometimes they just need someone to listen and validate them rather than offering solutions – it’s important they learn to problem-solve and be responsive to the feedback of their peers.
Role playing and cognitive rehearsal may be an effective tool for helping prepare your child for common peer interactions and can boost their confidence.
Playdates can be useful for encouraging participation in group activities and for building connections with peers.
Create a conflict resolution roadmap. Use this opportunity to teach children that conflict is to be expected sometimes and it is manageable with a roadmap for resolution - set boundaries around how to communicate issues, how to identify the role each party plays, non-negotiable behaviors and brainstorming solutions together.
Adjusting to more challenging material:
Organization is key for managing schoolwork so use planners and teach time management strategies to support your children.
Expectations should be realistic and achievable with focus being on effort rather than outcomes. Praise time, focus, resilience and progress as often as possible.
Academic support such as tutoring or regular review of assignments can help kids who are struggling.
Teach kids strategies for coping with anxiety:
Teach the importance of deep breathing and mindfulness to help children stay attuned to their bodies. This allows them to manage anxiety better.
Movement is medicine! Encourage them to take frequent walks if possible or do regular gentle stretching each morning/evening.
Get creative and make a list of self-soothing activities or a dopamine menu to be proactive about planning for how to care for your mind and body.
Red flags that indicate a child may need professional help to manage stress:
- Physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, fatigue or hives may be a sign of extreme anxiety.
- Rumination or excessive worrisome thoughts.
- Avoiding classes, activities and peers may be an indicator of a more significant issue.
- Fluctuations in appetite, sleep or moods/behaviors.
- Withdraw from friends, family and activities.
- Decreased academic performance.
How parents can address their own anxiety about kids return to school:
It’s important to be aware of and to validate your own feelings while being intentional about your own self-care. Create and maintain a healthy routine for yourself to model for your children.
Stay attuned to your children so you can feel comfortable and confident in the openness of your communication.
Be kind and gentle with yourself and avoid being too harsh or judgmental of your parenting.
Seek support from family and friends as needed, speak to a therapist to help process any anxiety or worry.
Final thoughts:
Heading back to school is an incredible opportunity to teach our children how to care for themselves. We can model for them and discuss with them ways to feel empowered over their own bodies, minds, relationships and goals. These are essential skills for success.
About the Author:
Stacy Thiry is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor at Grow Therapy. She has worked with clients on a wide range of concerns including substance abuse/addiction, depression, personality disorders, relationship issues, career challenges, anxiety, ADHD, autism, domestic violence, as well as those who have experienced trauma and/or abuse.
